Just thought I should probably blog for one last time before I go into hiding. I finally found employment after 3 hard months of searching and am grateful to the manager who is willing to give me an opportunity to start my first career with them. But I'm filled with apprehension! I really wonder if I'm able to meet their expectations and survive amongst the political pressure so often seen in workplaces. I crumbled like falling uno blocks the last time and I'm not really sure if I have changed four years later. Well, I was in certain circumstances that made me alter my perspectives on how 'perfect' the society really is but still.. I'm not sure if I am able to handle them. When that time comes, I can only hope and pray that I am able to do it.

There is this principle that always serves as a self-reminder to myself: that I should not carry any expectations from anyone since disappointment thrives with it. But it's funny how my expectations of others unknowingly sets in and I tend to be disappointed over something done which was not discussed or pre-planned (excluding surprises). I don't like this feeling. In fact, I hate it. I feel neglected and abandoned. I have no idea if I'm getting disappointed for all the right reasons. At times, I'm not even sure why am I disappointed for. And tada, I become a confused person and that is when this particular principle kicks my butt and scowls 'LEARN YOUR LESSON', of course metaphorically.

For now, I guess I'll just cancel out some of the activities I'm supposed to be doing, expect nothing, and immerse myself into a sea of words and my own figment of imagination.