The fact that I had so much difficulty getting into this page really shows how long I haven't updated, eh? These past 2 years spent in school wasn't as easy as I thought it would be as I was swamped with assignments and group projects. Sometimes, I really marvel at my concentration span as I could sit in front of the desk with my laptop religiously for 4 months, solely reading and researching for my assignments every single day. A daunting task for most I would say. Of course, there's bound to be a time when I start to suffer from mental breakdown and had my boyfriend picking up the pieces. Lucky me, he's always there for me.

Being a mini society, just like the mini circuit and simulated traffic conditions for driving, school has served its purpose by increasing awareness for the naive (people like me) as to how the society at large actually works, and not to forget, the ugliness of human nature. There were instances when some used networks gained in school as a means to commit fraudulent acts while others slyly gained the trust of unsuspecting females and found their way into their pants. Putting all that negativity aside, there are some really nice friends in school, well.. that is if you look hard enough or are simply lucky. I spent a year and a half hopping from one group to another due to different goals and a non-reciprocal relationship -- most of the time it was I-lose-you-win sort of thing but never a win-win outcome. Okay, in short I was taken advantage of since it wasn't a hidden fact that I have pretty high expectations for work. Just as well, it is better to do more than less since I had an easier time preparing for exams. Too bad for me, it was only towards the last few months of my studies when I found a group that responded to my 'reciprocity SOS'.

During that period of time, I had to also witness a really ugly internal fight which seemed to reiterate the turn of events in Hongkong dramas. Some say blood is thicker than water, but I beg to differ. Imagine knowing someone for 23 years thinking that she is a hospitable and kind person, but in a twist of events, turned her back on her brother who so badly needed help and support which eventually led to his death. There were also truckloads of evil deeds that she did in the past and of which my parents only revealed to us recently since we were quite young then. Those information made me feel really disgusted with her and family and what a pity (especially when some cousins were childhood playmates), I decided to sever all ties with them when they, in the absence of conscience pointed fingers at my family for the mysterious death. But what I ponder about is if they were really so bad, why did my parents continued on with this family relationship? Were my parents really that forgiving or was this all a pretense in the hope that bro and I get good childhood memories? Whatever the reason, any childhood memories with them are now rendered meaningless. As long as there is enough for subsistence living, the status, money and wealth that they possess don't mean anything to me.

Comparing myself to others, I'm quite fortunate to only experience the cruel reality of life at this age. At least I've had my fair share of 'the damsel in distress will always be saved by a handsome young prince and they will live happily ever after'. At least I've gone through a couple of years thinking that the world is perfect. But now that I'm entering a new phase of life, it's really high time to snap out of the fairytale world and embrace the negative and positive aspects to politics. These 2 years have somehow prepared me to a world of political infighting, and of course I've learnt that essentially, everyone is for him or herself. Maybe, just maybe, I should learn how to be a fishmonger and think for myself instead of others all the time. But if I don't succeed, there's always the excuse that well, it is in the blood =P